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Rules for dealing with ADD children

Rules for dealing with ADD children

  1. Pay attention to the positive

Listen to yourself and write down what you like about your child. Keep a diary of things that have surprised and delighted you. How did I react? Did I praise my child

Explain to the child what behaviour is expected of him

Not: Clean up your room! But: Clean up all things from the ground and put them in the big yellow box! "Do not discuss or moralize (" Never do what I want! "). Give time to the child and, if necessary, repeat the request in short sentences or briefly touch the child to get his attention. If your child shows unwanted behavior, you need to tell him what to do instead (not "do not always throw your jacket on the floor!") But "hang your jacket on the hook!")

Set priorities

Which fight is worthwhile? What is really important? Ignore insignificant misconduct - do not pay attention to the child. Do not mess around with little things.

Transfer responsibility to the child

Give your child daily household chores (empty the trash can, feed pets). Your trust and praise will make your child more confident and self-confident. Have your child decide as often as possible and solve problems independently. Accept that it will not always be successful. Your child will learn from it, and that's worth a lot. Involve your child in decision-making processes. Rules that your child has come up with or agreed to, are more likely to follow

Clear rules and clear structures

Better few, clear rules than a whole labyrinth of pros and cons. Short, concise sentences - no verbose explanations. Your child needs structures, not maybe

Rulebooks and Rewards

Check again and again whether your child adheres to agreed rules. Insist - loving, but relentless. Feedback and consequences must come quickly ("direct feedback"). The principle is: Praise before punishment. Punishments at best lead to avoidance of unwanted behaviour; not to make it disappear. If you try to change a behaviour, the approach should be positive.

To set up a reward plan:

1- Discuss the rule with the child.

2-Let your child repeat this rule.

3-Make sure your child understands the rule.

4-Give the child a small incentive to follow the rule.

5-Always give feedback to the child in the problem situation.

6-Praise the same and reward your child if the rule has been followed.

 7-Praise and encourage your child even if it did not work out, but efforts were made.

8-Change the type of rewards regularly. This prevents the reward system from becoming uninteresting and therefore ineffective

Correctly address rule violations

Rough offenses cannot and should not be ignored. However, punishments must be in a temporal and logical connection with the action to be criticized. The most effective are "natural punishments", which are at the same time logical consequences of wrongdoing. For example, your child intentionally destroys a particular toy. You as a mother or father should then neither buy nor repair this or a similar toy. Your child has to live with the fact that it no longer has this toy and will deal with its things better in the future.

Consequence is not hardness

Consequence means: What is forbidden today is also forbidden tomorrow. What is allowed today, the child can do tomorrow? If you do not contradict yourself, your child can better assess you. It knows what it is. Be consistent in a loving way.

Do not complain

Anyone who talks a lot shifts consequences. Feedback in the form of praise, rewards and punishments must come immediately and often. Children with attention deficit syndrome with and without hyperactivity (ADD or ADHD) need more immediate consequences than other children. This can help them to better control their behavior and improve their performance.

Avoid exposures

Many children with ADS are preceded by the bad reputation. Often they are wrongly accused. If outsiders complain about your child, they should not blame your child for these people. Listen to the accusations without losing any words. Take a moment off at home and give your child the opportunity to describe things from his point of view. Bear in mind that your child has a different understanding and feeling for his actions. It perceives many things differently. Many acts are actually accidents and not the expression of a bad will.

Look ahead

ADS children show similar misconduct in similar situations. Sometimes their behavior can be foreseen. Then, appropriate measures can reduce the likelihood that the problem behavior will occur. 

Defuse situations

Do not look your child directly in the eye and lower your voice when the level of arousal is high and a tantrum is imminent. Decree yourself and your child time off.

  1. Avoid sudden changes

Announce pending changes in everyday life (relocation, school change, renovation) far in advance so that your child has enough time to adapt to it. ADHD children experience stress when habits change.

  1. Do not take moths personally and do not respond to them

This behaviour is directed against the role you play; not you as a person are meant. Do not take evil words to heart. If your child announces his displeasure because it is e.g. To clean up his room, it can help, if they with moths: "Now this must be cleaned up here. Such a crap, too! "

  1. Always forgiven

 Give the child the misconduct, the other the misunderstanding and even the mistakes that you will make in dealing with your child. Do not be vindictive. Everything should be settled and forgiven before your child falls asleep. Talk about the positive events of the day. Do not let the conflicts of the previous day overshadow the new

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