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How is living with an ADHD and Asperger child?

How is living with an ADHD and Asperger child?

Since we often have the issue of ADHD / ADD among our community questions, we are glad and grateful that Melika, an affected mother, has taken so much time, brains and leisure to write this good and informative post for you all:

Our son is eight years old and is loving, sensitive, generous, and inquisitive and has a pronounced sense of justice. Especially in terms of language, he always surprises us. He is helpful and literally tears himself to please others. He has ADHD and Asperger We are both in their early thirties, both are in the middle of life. My husband works in the IT industry and I in the care business. We live in a family house in the countryside. We educate our boys with structure and love, we like to be parents. At the age of 4, our son was marginalized in the day care centre. He beat, pushed other children, and reacted aggressively. Why, at least for the educators was clear: He would get too much sugar, do not move and get from us parents too little leadership. Yes, everything was "known". Our son has always been gross motor and therefore fell in this area something out of the ordinary. Nevertheless, we sought assistance from an educational counseling center. There, approached by a strange woman (the employee responsible), our son freaked out completely threw toys, screamed. I was sent home. In a 90 minute conversation you could find no gross bad parenting. We were recommended psychotherapy for our child. After we had "pulled through" these 1 year and with many discussions with parents and could find no improvement, we broke it off. Now the Kita came back to us, he was 5.5 years old at the time, our child would not be tolerable, would endanger himself and others, could not concentrate, quickly get frustrated and we should go to a parenting consultancy. Our objection that we had this already behind us was acknowledged with a raised eyebrow. As the exclusions widened and the staff rolled their eyes when we entered the facility, I cancelled them there. I could not stand this anymore. With luck, he got a place in the neighbouring village. At that time I cried in gratitude. The turn After 4 weeks in the new day care centre, the first parents talk was scheduled. He would be nice and helpful, but he could neither paint and cut pictures in an age-appropriate way, avoid the other kids and react aggressively to misconduct. The educator suggested that he should do occupational therapy and martial arts to power him out. The paediatrician first referred us to a SPZ. After 4 months waiting time, he was meanwhile 6 years old, we got, after detailed diagnostics the diagnosis ADHD. 
I cried again. For me, a world collapsed. We were advised to contact a psychologist to start a behavioural therapy. 

2019 | asperger | Küçük
            So I dealt with the disease, read several weeks on the Internet, bought books. After that, it was clear that we started a multimodal therapy: Medications plus ergo therapy plus psychomotor.

The reactions from my environment here in brief:"What, you want to give him Ritalin?""Let go of the sugar first.""He needs a strong hand, nothing more.""It did not exist before, but well ...""It all comes from media consumption ..." I cannot blame anyone who did not have to deal with this issue.I thought so too in the past.But I want to enlighten. And here everyone counts.

               It is not the peculiarity of our child that weighs heavily on us, because there are therapies here. The worst of all is the exclusion: the eyes of the people, when our son stands with a stony face instead of welcoming them friendly, the whisper of the neighbors, when a pushing aside because of the disturbance of perception as an attack is rated and he roars loudly one has it on pushed the wall. The ignorance, the prejudice because what is not "normal" and who is to blame seems to be clear to most... What is ADHD?

ADHD (attention deficit / hyperactivity disorder) is a chronic metabolic disorder of the brain. It is inheritable and lasts a lifetime. The cause is an undersupply of the brain with the messengers serotonin and dopamine. Psychosocial circumstances can aggravate the symptoms, but are not the cause of ADHD. Symptoms include lack of concentration due to sensory overload, aggression, impulsivity. The children do not dare, can not retrieve their skills. An AD (H) S occurs in every culture and is independent of social status and sex. ADHD does not "grow up".

diagnostics If there is any suspicion of AD (H) S you should not wait. Every child and adolescent psychiatrist or SPC (social pediatric center) does the diagnostics. The waiting lists are long: 4-5 months are not uncommon. So it is advisable to be on several doctors on the waiting list.

Who does NOT notice that? Yes, this point is important to me. A pediatrician, even if he claims this, is not the appropriate contact person for this diagnosis. Even a school psychologist, a social worker, the youth welfare office, a family help or the psychologist are not trained for this!

Therapy Since it is, as described above, a metabolic disease (such as diabetes, Hashimoto way, too), the therapy is actually logical: drugs that restore the imbalance of messengers.

There are 4 different active ingredients here:

Methylphenidate (e.g. medikinet, Ritalin)

Lisdexamfetamine (Elvanse)

Guanfacine (Intuniv)

Atomoxetine (Strattera).

            The first two drugs do not build up a mirror and are not dosed by weight but by need. In addition to this, one can and should individually choose which accompanying therapies are important and correct: equine therapy, ergo, logo, Moto therapy, behavioural therapy, family therapy, psychomotricity. Now one speaks of a multimodal therapy. Incidentally, I know of no metabolic disease for whose adequate drug treatment you have to justify yourself as much as for your parents.
How long are therapies necessary for ADHD?

Because it is a chronic disease, a lifelong therapy may be necessary. There are also those who develop strategies for their deficits over the years and no longer need medical support. In order to achieve this, one should by no means think that the drug therapy would be sufficient. Because only the accompanying therapies make this development possible.


               Depending on the severity of the illness, a request for care allowance can be made. That's fine! For this purpose, an application is made to the nursing care fund. Depending on the cash register you can even print it online. The care fund then turns to the MDK, the medical service of the health insurance, which comes after a few weeks then for so-called review. Here the nursing extra work is then counted compared to a child of the same age. Depending on the degree of care, care allowance is paid. In addition there are the so-called discharge amount as well as benefits for preventive and short-term care. It is also possible to apply for a disability assessment (severely disabled person card).     Our son was diagnosed with Asperger when he was almost 8 years old, as part of day care in a day clinic.

            We now spend our lives with a few but good friends. We have a family helper who supports us. The nursing degree of our son allows him various regular therapies as well as some hours off. What has remained are the prejudices of our fellow human beings, but with that we have learned to live. Because we know what we do every day anew and that's what counts. So you see, there is definitely support for us, which we marginalize, laugh at and socially devalue. We just have to use it. After 4 years of medical marathon, tantrums, exclusion and condemnation, I can only advise all parents who recognize their child here:

            Listen to your gut feeling and especially to your child! Let your child test, get any support you can get. Because it is your right and the right of your child. Best regards, Jessica - a mother who wishes everyone was better informed. I thank these guest contributors from the bottom of my heart for this well-founded, exciting, well-written article on such an important topic. Are you so kind and share that to improve your awareness of this chronic disease?


2019 | banner25 | Büyük

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